Mermaidses
by Canadia
Summary: Something strange happens to the Atlantis team in their own city
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis. It's just fun to play with ;;

Setting: btw, it's a bizarre time that doesn't really exist of course cause Grodin's there, Zelenka's a major character of sorts (either that or he's just popping up constantly) and because I totally ship them, it's going to be Sheyla. Also, they're still exploring the city so...yeah

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"Remind me again why _he's_ here?" Rodney McKay pouted, pointing to Radek Zelenka.

"Because we're checking out the labs and we need all the research hands we can get, Rodney." Sheppard sighed. "Shall I repeat that again for you, because it's not like I haven't already…."

"I still think it's pointless, **I'm** enough." The team rolled their eyes.

"Here we go again," muttered Ford.

"What did you say? Hmm? Wanna say that to my face?"

"Get out of _my_ face Rodney!"

"Boys, boys, break it up already!" Sheppard stepped between the two, hands raised.

"I certainly don't understand what my part here is though," came Beckett's whine from the far corner. "I mean, I'm just a medical doctor. If I have to put up with Rodney for this long, you're goin ta have ta give me a good reason lad." McKay sneered at him from his end of the room.

"Because we're in an Ancient lab and have no idea how any of this works," Sheppard announced. "The last time we investigated, and by me I mean McKay over there, I had people running around seeing things and dying. This time I want medical right along with us. Now, moving up the tower, Ford, you go ahead. McKay, Zelenka, you two go next. Teyla, you're with me in the rear, and Beckett, just….follow us or something."

"Great, I really see why I'm here now, medical emergency coming through." Beckett muttered from behind.

"What's with the formation anyway? It's not like we're off world on some mission, where in Atlantis for god sakes!"

"Shut it McKay and walk, up the stairs with ya now." Everyone stared at Sheppard blankly, tensions running thin already.

"UP THE FLIPPING STAIRS **NOW**!" roared Sheppard, annoyance etched across his face. The team jumped, Ford almost dragging McKay behind him up the stairs. "That's more like it!"

"I fear you were too harsh on them," Teyla remarked to Sheppard, who was looking quite proud of himself as the rest of the group scurried up the stairs, glares shooting down at the couple below.

"Eh, meh, what the hell." Sheppard grinned at his teammate, gesturing his hand in front of him. "Ladies first!" He was definitely in a better mood now. Who was it who said yelling never helped? To hell with him!

"Whoooooo, it's a lab!" McKay muttered, uninterestedly waving a finger in the air, "Very dangerous, all your guns and medical assistance is so completely necessary" Indeed it appeared to be a pretty run of the mill Atlantis lab. It looked the same as any of the others they had been to, with a few added doohickeys and such of course. Nothing too fascinating.

"Can it McKay, just get the work done."

"Aye aye Captain!" McKay saluted Sheppard mockingly.

"That's Colonel to you _Doctor_"

"Go to hell"

"You first"

"Well isn't this fun," piped up Ford. "Exactly what I wanted to do with my afternoon!" Sheppard glared at the younger man who cowered slightly at the harshness. Everyone picked a corner and huddled in it, each keeping to themselves…at first. Ten minutes later Ford was pacing slightly looking bored to death, Beckett keeping half an eye on McKay and Zelenka's puzting, getting closer and closer to the duo and Teyla just looking around vaguely wondering how to restore her teams good will. Nerves were strung and tension was high.

An hour later the group was not only cranky, but now hungry and extremely bored. McKay and Zelenka had been at it for way too long, though Zelenka's random Czech mutters turned out to be interesting. Teyla and Sheppard were huddled in a corner discussing which Czech words they believed were swears and which were not, much to the amusement of Ford who was listening nearby.

McKay turned to Zelenka, rather bored himself, and motioned to a small blue button. "Wonder what that does."

"Won't know until we try!" Zelenka grinned impishly at the other scientist, curiosity aflame in his eyes. _This day better get interesting soon or…who knows what, _he thought. _I'm just **bored**_. McKay smiled slowly, feeling rather mischievous himself. _What the hell,_ he though, finger creeping towards the button. By then Sheppard had become aware something new was happening and had started paying semi-attention to the two nerds.

"Now wait a -" McKay pushed the button, grinning at Sheppard rebelliously. Everyone had jumped to their feet at the outburst, eyes darting around the room, searching for the effect. "See, nothing!" McKay turned proudly to Sheppard, it was just a little blue -"

From out of nowhere the room flooded, cold, salty seawater rushing from walls, ceilings, floors…everywhere at once. The inhabitants had no chance. They held up arms in a puny attempt to hold back the saltwater but there was absolutely nothing they could to. The damage had already been done. Someone screamed at the wall of water before get cut off in a strangled gasp.

_Oh damn, thought Zelenka before breathing too much water into his lungs, I knew I shouldn't've let him press the button…_

TBC.

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_Reviews are fun….tell me what you think? Yesh?_


	2. Chapter 2

Short one

Disclaimer: I dunt own stargate

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Teyla awoke to a fuzzy world. There was so much pressure and yet…she felt so light, as if floating. A whoosh feeling flowed past the back of her ears, dragging across her skin which flapped in reaction. _Flapped?_ she thought curiously, _why on earth would the skin behind my ears flap?_ She opened her eyes a little wider to a blue-tinged, yet crystal clear world. _The light's reflecting off the air so beautifully. Maybe that was the purpose of the button. To make the air _like_ water. _Her mind had not yet recovered quite from the shock. _My legs feel funny,_ she thought, _I wonder what's wrong with them…_ She glanced down, frowning curiously. _My God Rodney, **what have you done**!_ The last thing she thought of before fainting was putting a bullet through McKay's skull.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

"MERMAID!" screamed Beckett at a half-conscious McKay. "YOU TURNED US INTO BLOODY MERMAIDS!"

"Well….technically you're a mer_man_ but uh…..yeeeeah…..I did do that it seems."

"I'M GOIN TA BLOODY KILL YA!" The transformed medical officer lunged at the scientist, tangling himself in water, an unconscious Zelenka, and a rather large green, scaly tail. "ARRRRRGH"

"Just….calm down, we're all in the same boat here, I'm sure there's a reversal!"

"There BETTER be a bloody reversal or I'll bloody reverse you myself!" Beckett screamed, chasing the scientist around the lab table, each unsuccessfully maneuvering their new tails and leaving a trail of destruction behind. "DAMN YOU RODNEY!"

"Hello? Hello, is anyone there? John" …Teyla? …McKay? Someone, anyone, please answer me." Weir's concerned voice came over the intercom.

"We're bloody here Elizabeth," Beckett shot through clenched teeth. An audible sigh of relief was heard on the other end of the line.

"Thank God! Are all of you there?"

"Well, there was a bit of a mishap," Beckett glared at McKay who at least looked rather pathetic by now. "McKay and I are conscious, but the rest of the team is still out. We're all alive, no need to panic."

"Well, you were panicking pretty bad a moment ago Beckett." piped up McKay, sensing exactly the wrong moment to talk.

"You turned us into bloody _mermaids_ Rodney, what in the blasted hell do you expect?"

"Mer_men_ Beckett. Mer_men"_

"_Rodney I don't really care what the blasted correct term is I'm going to freaking tear you limb from freaking limb…" Beckett threatened, swishing a few lengths towards the cowering merman._

"WHAT!" shouted Weir over the intercom.

"Blood and bloody hell, look what you've done NOW Rodney!"

"She would've figured it out sooner or later!" He whined, which of course did not affect Beckett's advance in the tiniest.

"We'll be _right_ there!" yelled Weir, disconnecting the intercom.

"I'm doomed," whimpered McKay, arms outstretching to keep of the raving medical officer. Teyla groaned from behind Beckett, saving McKay from a dreadful end in the nick of time. Beckett's medical instincts took over and he rushed to her side.

"I think Teyla here's the one who screamed when we all went under. I hope she's alright." Beckett patted her cheek gently in an attempt to revive her before she could faint again.

"Actually Carson…that was me."

"Figures." Teyla groaned again, louder this time. "Doctor, what is happening?" she plead, staring up at him. As if I light bulb flashed, understand lit her face as she turned her head to see her face. "Oh God, it was not a dream…" she moaned.

"Stay with my now lass, can't have you fading off again now." Suddenly Teyla's eyes opened wide with fear and she sat up as abruptly as she could managed, considering her feet had fused together into a scaly purple tail and she hung in mid-water. "John…is the Colonel alright?" she demanded of Beckett, grabbing his arm and looking around wildly.

"He's fine, just fine lass. Still sleeping 's all. Be around soon I suspect," Beckett tried to soothe her, knowing it wasn't too good to be moving around much just yet.

Hey you two, where'd the floor go?" Rodney asked shakily, staring beneath him. The two others glared before looking down in surprise.

"Perhaps it took a walk with our very human legs," flung out Teyla, words dripping with hostility.

"I think you have been hanging out with John just a bit too much lately lass," Beckett said wryly, grinning at the Ethosian. She looked taken aback and demanded why he would think such a thing. "You just sound like him's all, no need to get worked up!" He held out his hands defensively, floating backwards slightly.

"I am sorry, I did not mean to distress you Carson." she smiled softly before swimming to a stop beside the Colonel. "I am just worried about my teammates."

"I understand."

By that time Zelenka had awoken, unbeknownst to the others. It appeared that he had taken to the transition quite well and he spun through the water easily, swishing his tail behind with a gigantic smile on his face, yammering away in Czech. Actually, the only thing that seemed to affect him adversely was the fact that his glasses kept trying to float away. "Ever been a mermaid before?" Beckett teased the Czech scientist. He got a shock as Zelenka simply nodded before swimming off happily, leaving behind an extremely dazed Beckett.

Meanwhile….

"Did they just say _mermaids?_" Weir demanded of Grodin, her face full of shock.

"I do believe they did." He responded quickly, an equally shocked expression on his face.

TBC.


	4. Chapter 4

Alright so I've been uber busy recently and haven't been writing, but I hope to get some stuff up. Just a short blip here, we'll see if I can get more up later. Even I'm not positive where I'm going with this, so it could be interesting XP Glad you guys like it! And thnx for the spelling tip Cpt. Ritter!

Disclaimer: All that fun stuff about not owning any of it!

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_Last time: _

_"Did they just say __mermaids?" Weir demanded of Grodin, her face full of shock._

_"I do believe they did." He responded quickly, an equally shocked expression on his face._

_

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_

"Alright Grodin, you stay here and monitor them. I'm heading for the tower now. I demand to know what is happening here." _Mermaids my ass! _she thought to herself. "Tell Major Lorne to meet me there with a handful of military personnel and get whatever scientists you can down there immediately. We have enough trouble with the wraith when our best team is around. I want no trouble from this!"

"Yes ma'am."

"Mermaids! The nerve!" she muttered, exasperated, as she fled from the room.

* * *

"Major, report." Weir demanded as she approached the tower entrance. A group of military men tood staring at the glass blockaded door, eyes filled with wonder and fear at the sight.

"It seems Beckett and McKay conscious ma'am. Beckett insists everyone's alright though. Zelenka swam off somewhere…exploring perhaps. Seems he's pretty good at the tail thing. The others…not so much." A crash came here and there from behind the doors. Most likely objects hit by awkward tails and bodies. "Ford and Sheppard are still out cold, though Teyla's awake and alert. She's keeping quite the eye on Sheppard I hear." Lorne gave a bit of a grin at that, laughing to himself as Weir began to blush. He adopted a face of all serious again before looking Weir straight in the eye and continuing. "I believe we'll have to separate them soon ma'am, or I have a feeling you're going to lose your head scientist to your medical officer's wrath." His eyes twinkled with amusement at the thought.


End file.
